Mary Carroll Caton’s Life and Marriage
As a follow up to our recent post about Mary Carroll Caton (Mrs. Catonsville) I'm providing more details about her life and marriage.
Mary Carroll Caton was born in 1770 and lived at the Doughoregan (pronounced “Dough Reagan”) estate, a 10,000-acre plantation in Ellicott City MD, together with her brother Charles Carroll IV and her sister Catherine (Kitty) Carroll. They lived in the large Manor house together with a host of servants. There were constant visitors, including many prominent members of the founding fathers.
The plantation initially planted tobacco but later changed to planting wheat based on a recommendation by the Ellicott brothers that wheat farming was less damaging to the soil. (Yes, the Carrolls knew the Ellicott brothers and their sons). The estate also included multiple orchards and multiple ornate gardens. Mary Carroll and her brother/sister road horses and lived a “farmer’s child” lifestyle. Their father, Charles Carroll of Carrollton, was “an early to rise, early to bed” follower. Every morning, he got up at dawn and travelled to a pool on the estate and dunked himself into the ice-cold water; he forced his children to follow this routine as well. Some attribute his 95-year longevity to this practice. Mary Caton and family also regularly visited their grandfather’s estate in Annapolis. At that time Annapolis, together with Georgetown, Philadelphia, and Boston, were the centers of social activity in the Colonies/States, and the Caton children immersed themselves into this society.
Due to the Revolutionary War, Mary Carroll (Caton) did not go to formal school, but was educated by tutors and her father's mandated Bible studies. Her brother, Charles Carroll IV, and her sister Catherine (Kitty) Carroll did attend school in France, as did their father, grandfather, and great grandfather, and therefore they had a formal “classical” education in Latin, French and the arts. Ironically Charles and Kitty Carroll were in school in France during the French Revolution “Reign of terror” when aristocrats and Catholic priests and nuns were executed via the guillotine. As Catholics they were at risk, but fortunately they were able to escape and return to America.
At age 16 (1786), Mary Carroll became a debutante and was officially introduced into upper class society. She was considered one of “belles of the ball” in Annapolis and had many suitors. Her father attempted to arrange a marriage with one of her distant cousins, which was common during this period. However, Mary Carroll ended up meeting Richard Caton (who had just come to America in 1785) and fell madly in love.
This marriage was unusual for several reasons:
1. She was the daughter of an American patriot and he was a British citizen for his entire life (plus we had just fought the British in the Revolutionary War 5 years earlier).
2. She was Catholic and he was Protestant (Note: from 1690 to 1828 Britain had disenfranchised all Catholics from voting, holding office, serving on juries etc. unless they swore an allegiance to the Protestant Church of England, which they knew no Catholics would do. Maryland had the same restrictions from 1690 to 1774. This Catholic/Protestant political and social conflict was a key aspect of life for the Carrolls and Catons.
3. Finally, she was from one of the wealthiest families in the 13 original Colonies/States (Charles Carroll was worth $16 Million, the equivalent of US$375 million in 2023) and Richard Caton was only a merchant and an investment speculator, with little, to no assets.
4) Basically, Richard Caton brought to the table “George Clooney” looks, coupled with a British accent and swagger, and she was smitten.
It was confusing as to why these two mismatched people would be married; however, Charles Carroll Carrollton consented to the marriage, which was somewhat unusual. One hundred years prior, he would have forced her into the arranged marriage. However, during this period there was a more liberal attitude, as championed by authors such as Jane Austen, that romantic love should control marriage rather than practicality and wealth.
One of the problems with Richard Caton was he was often in debt and eventually ended up in bankruptcy. Charles Carroll's consent to the marriage was based on him getting out of debt, stopping financial speculation (he didn’t), and becoming a manager of the various Carroll properties. Richard Caton became officially bankrupt twice during his life and therefore was possibly subject to debtor’s prison, but fortunately he was financially bailed out by his father-in-law the first time, and by his 4 daughters the second time. Charles Carroll specially wrote his will such that the inheritances to his daughters would go directly to them and not through their spouses, using a legal principle called “Feme Sole”.
Richard Caton and Mary Carroll were married on November 25, 1787, in Annapolis in a Catholic ceremony. Upon their marriage, Charles Carroll Carrollton gave them as a wedding gift 1000 acres of land in what is today’s Catonsville. This area is where the current Catonsville library is on the north side of Frederick Road, and also included most of the land on the South side of Frederick Road from Rolling Road to today's Bloomsbury Ave. As a result of this land ownership, this area of Baltimore County became known as Catonsville (Note: it was initial called Catonville (without the s), but eventually was changed to today’s “Catonsville”).
Charles Carroll built them a house as a wedding gift where the current Catonsville Library is located, which Mary named “Castle Thunder” from a book by Voltaire. The Castle Thunder story is often repeated; however, the Baltimore County Historical Society did some research and was unable to find this building on any maps or tax records from this time period. This could be just a record keeping error or perhaps it did not exist at that time; no one knows)
In addition, Charles Carroll and Richard Caton jointly purchased an estate in Lutherville called Brookland Wood (Brooklandwood), which today is the St Paul’s School (See picture). Brookland Wood is primarily where Richard and Mary Caton and their four daughters lived, although they did regularly visit the Doughoregan Maor and the Annapolis estate.
During the U.S. War of 1812 with Britain, Richard Caton had to keep a low profile since he was a British citizen living on U.S. soil and may have been tarred and feathered or even murdered as an “enemy”. This obviously added stress for his wife, Mary Caton.
Mary and Richard Caton had four daughters, Marianne, Elizabeth (Bess), Louisa, and Emily. The first three ended up marrying British nobility and became known as the “Three American Graces” (more on that story later) and the fourth daughter remained home in Maryland and took care of her father/mother and grandfather.
Mary Caton’s eyesight became bad in her middle age. Ater her father died, she was able to visit her daughters in Britain and had cataract surgery in 1834, which restored her eyesight. (Who knew they did cataract surgery that early in time). Unfortunately, toward the end of her life she was almost completely blind.
In later years (after their daughters were married) Richard and Mary Caton lived in the Carroll Mansion on Lombard Street (see picture above) until their deaths in 1845 (Richard, age 82) and 1846 (Mary, age 76). They are buried in Greenmount Cemetery in Baltimore. Note that the Mary Carroll Caton Chapter of the Daughters of the American Revolution has installed a commemorative plaque at Mary’s burial site.
Although it was kind of a strange marriage setup, the marriage lasted for 58 years. So they had a productive marriage with four successful children, and a long and happy marriage.